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Reference revision: 52205371ad7127923de1a3fc918bda046f1f6114afd7d47f140b2b914d657c3c

# Requests and Offers

Project triads secretly write three requests and three offers for each teammate, compare them to calculate an empathy score, and negotiate adjustments to align their expectations.

**Time:** 45 minutes. Adapted to 45 minutes from the source range of 40 to 120 minutes.
**People:** 3 to 24. Triads (teams of 3)

## Choose this exercise

**Purpose:** Identify mismatches between what teammates expect and what they offer to reach mutual clarity on project responsibilities.
**Use it when:** Use during project kickoffs or cross-functional alignment sessions when collaborators need clear commitments across distinct roles.
**Skip it when:** Skip when team roles are completely identical, when participants cannot engage in structured peer-to-peer negotiation, or when participants lack a shared project focus.

## Materials and tools

- 4 index cards or slips of paper per person labeled Request Card (12 per triad)
- 4 index cards or slips of paper per person labeled Offer Card (12 per triad)
- 1 pen per person
- 1 digital countdown timer

## Before participants arrive

1. Print or hand-label index cards as Request Cards and Offer Cards.
2. Arrange seating in clusters of three chairs around tables or open floor spaces.

## Say this to open

Working on a project requires clear coordination. Often we assume others know what we need, or we offer help they do not actually want. Today we will test our mutual expectations. In triads, you will define a project, assume distinct roles, write down what you need and what you offer, and see how closely your mental models match.

## How to run it

### 1. Form triads and establish roles (7 minutes)

Divide participants into groups of three. If one person remains, assign them as an observer for one triad; if two remain, form a triad with the facilitator. Each triad chooses a realistic joint project (for example, creating a customer onboarding video or publishing an e-book). Each person takes one distinct job title and states their primary responsibilities. Give groups 6 minutes to establish their project and confirm each member's role.

### 2. Draft requests and offers (10 minutes)

Participants work silently and individually. Distribute 2 Request Cards and 2 Offer Cards to each person. On the Request Cards, each person writes 3 specific things they need from each of their 2 teammates (one card per teammate). On the Offer Cards, each person writes 3 specific things they can provide to each teammate (one card per teammate). The facilitator stops writing when the timer rings at 10 minutes.

### 3. Score mutual empathy (8 minutes)

Triads pair up their cards into 6 reciprocal sets (Person A's offers to B paired with Person B's requests from A; Person A's requests from B paired with Person B's offers to A; and so on for B/C and A/C). For each paired set of cards, teammates compare the items. They award 1 point every time an offered item matches a requested item. Each pair can yield up to 3 points, giving a team maximum score of 18 points. Triads total their points to calculate their Empathy Score.

### 4. Negotiate alignment (12 minutes)

Triads conduct a round of open discussion. Members negotiate changes to their offers and requests to eliminate gaps, clarify misunderstandings, and update commitments until both sides agree on aligned wording. Stop negotiation when the timer reaches 12 minutes.

### 5. Debrief insights (8 minutes)

Convene the room. Ask two teams to share their initial scores and their key negotiation points. Facilitate a brief discussion using the debrief questions, focusing on how these gaps appear in real workplace projects.


## Debrief questions

- What caused the biggest initial mismatches between what one person requested and what the other offered?
- How did limiting yourself to three requests and three offers affect your focus on priorities?
- What negotiation tactic helped you close the gap between an unmet request and an unneeded offer?

**Finished output:** Six aligned pairs of written request and offer cards defining agreed peer-to-peer commitments for each triad.

## Remote

Create breakout rooms with 3 participants each. Provide a shared digital whiteboard or document containing 6 virtual card templates per triad (3 Request templates, 3 Offer templates). Participants fill out their cards silently, drag matching pairs adjacent to each other, calculate their empathy score, and negotiate updates in their breakout rooms. Bring all breakouts back to the main room for the final 8-minute debrief.

## Hybrid

Seat in-person participants together in physical triads and assign remote participants to remote-only breakout triads using digital whiteboard cards. Avoid mixing remote and in-person individuals in the same triad to keep card comparison and negotiation pacing balanced. Conduct the opening and debrief jointly via main room audio and video.

## Access and participation choices

- Participants may type on digital devices instead of writing on index cards.
- An observer role is available for participants who choose not to roleplay or negotiate directly; observers record matches and note points of divergence during card pairing.
- Participants may pass on sharing personal work stories during the whole-room debrief.

## If the session gets stuck

**A triad finishes card writing early and begins discussing before others finish.**

Remind the group that drafting must remain silent and independent so initial assumptions are not influenced prematurely.

**Participants argue over whether an offer technically matches a request during scoring.**

Instruct teams to award points only when both people agree that the offer satisfies the core intent of the request without major compromise.


## Terms used here

- Empathy Score: In this activity, a numerical tally (from 0 to 18) measuring how many offered services or deliverables directly match a teammate's requested needs.
- Triad: A subgroup consisting of exactly three participants working together.

## Participant material: Request Card Template

REQUEST CARD
To (Teammate Name / Role): ____________________
From (Your Name / Role): ____________________
Three things I specifically need from you for this project:
1. __________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________

## Participant material: Offer Card Template

OFFER CARD
To (Teammate Name / Role): ____________________
From (Your Name / Role): ____________________
Three things I can specifically offer you for this project:
1. __________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________

## Sources and adaptation

Observed in Thiagi GameLetter (March 2012), under the article 'Roleplay: Requests and Offers' by Sivasailam Thiagarajan, adapted from an earlier game titled 'Give and Take'.

The previous library record was damaged and titled after the newsletter issue ('TGL: March 2012') with marketing text as prompts. Recovered the underlying exercise 'Requests and Offers' (originally adapted from 'Give and Take') by Sivasailam Thiagarajan from the newsletter text. Set the duration to a practical 45-minute standard workshop block, structured clear card-matching rules, and added standard templates and debrief prompts.

[The Thiagi Group](http://thiagi.net/archive/www/pfp/IE4H/march2012.html)

[The Thiagi Group](https://thiagi.net/archive/www/pfp/IE4H/march2012.html)

Current run sheet: https://unitedwetransform.com/exercises/tgl-march-2012/