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Help me prepare and run the exercise below. First ask for my participant count, time, setting, access needs and intended result. Check these against the stated limits. Use the supplied rules and materials. Explain any proposed changes before using them, and label them as adaptations. Do not invent source claims or require personal disclosure. Give me one step at a time when I say start. I manage the people, physical activity and clock; do not claim to observe the room. Ask me what happened before choosing a next step.

Reference revision: 4850938755d1640e9336c4f62ec3a398618e59708746f669edf823429a0ec339

# GUT TALK

Participants work in small groups using coached roleplay to practice expressing difficult workplace emotions clearly and constructively. Observers and silent coaches use a five-point checklist to prompt speakers and deliver focused behavioral feedback.

**Time:** 60 minutes. 60 minutes matches the lower end of the 60 to 90 minute source duration, covering setup, demonstration, two full 12-minute practice rounds, and action planning.
**People:** 5 to 25. Clusters of 5 to 7 participants use five core roles: Speaker, Speaker's Coach, Listener, Listener's Coach, and Observer. For exactly 8 or 9 participants, use one cluster. Everyone beyond the five role-card holders is an additional observer.

## Choose this exercise

**Purpose:** To practice expressing workplace emotions clearly and directly using structured peer coaching and behavioral feedback.
**Use it when:** Use during communication or leadership training when teams need practical drills for handling emotionally charged workplace conversations.
**Skip it when:** Skip when a group has active, unaddressed workplace grievances among members or when participants cannot handle peer coaching safely.

## Materials and tools

- One GUT TALK Checklist per participant, printed or digital
- One set of 5 Role Cards per cluster; additional observers use their participant checklists
- Blank scratch paper and felt-tip markers for coaches
- A timer or stopwatch
- A whistle or chime for signaling transitions
- For remote or mixed clusters: a video meeting with direct messages; an individual device and headset for every member of a mixed cluster

## Before participants arrive

1. Arrange chairs in clusters of 5 to 7 without tables. For exactly 8 or 9 participants, arrange one cluster with enough chairs for everyone.
2. Print copies of the GUT TALK Checklist for every participant.
3. Print and cut one set of Role Cards per cluster.
4. Have blank paper and bold markers placed at each cluster for coaches.

## Say this to open

Most workplace training encourages us to hide our emotions and stay detached. But unexpressed feelings often leak out sideways, damaging work relationships. Today we will practice expressing emotions clearly and constructively without losing control. Each group will have a speaker, a listener, two silent coaches holding prompt signs, and an observer tracking specific behaviors against our checklist.

## How to run it

### 1. Introduce checklist and demonstrate (10 minutes)

Distribute the GUT TALK Checklist. Review the five items: explain why and ask permission, name multiple feelings, avoid blame, own feelings using 'I feel' statements, and listen to responses. Model a 2-minute scenario with a co-facilitator or prepped volunteer showing how the coach holds up short signs (e.g., 'OWN IT' or 'NAME MULTIPLE') behind the listener.

### 2. Form groups and assign roles (5 minutes)

Form clusters of 5 to 7. With exactly 8 or 9 participants, use one cluster. Distribute the five role cards: Speaker, Speaker's Coach, Listener, Listener's Coach, and Observer. Any additional participants observe with their checklists and pass their notes to the Observer card holder. Announce Scenario 1: 'Your co-worker has failed to deliver a critical report to you on time. Now your report is going to be delayed.'

### 3. Run round 1 practice cycle (12 minutes)

Minutes 1-3: Speaker and Listener each prepare with their coach; observers review the checklist. Minutes 4-6: Run the roleplay, with coaches silently displaying prompts behind the opposite partner. Minutes 7-9: The Observer card holder summarizes observer notes, then each coach and the Listener give feedback. Allow each of these four speakers up to 30 seconds, leaving one minute for clarification. Minutes 10-12: Bring the room together for brief general observations.

### 4. Rotate roles and run round 2 (15 minutes)

Pass the five role cards: Speaker becomes Listener; Listener becomes Speaker's Coach; Speaker's Coach becomes Observer; Observer becomes Listener's Coach; Listener's Coach becomes Speaker. Additional observers keep observing and sharing notes with the Observer card holder. Announce Scenario 2: 'You feel your manager is making promotion decisions based on 360 feedback, and you believe a peer is undermining you.' Repeat the 12-minute cycle, with up to 3 minutes for the role change and setup.

### 5. Individual reflection and action planning (13 minutes)

Invite participants to think of an upcoming or unresolved conversation in their real work where unexpressed emotions are present. Have everyone spend 8 minutes privately drafting an opening statement and checklist strategy on paper. Use the final 5 minutes to invite two or three voluntary comments on how applying the checklist felt across the session.

### 6. Final wrap-up (5 minutes)

Conclude the session by reminding participants that checklist items like asking permission and owning statements reduce conversational defensiveness. Collect role cards and close.


## Debrief questions

- What difference did asking permission make before naming difficult emotions?
- What prompt from a coach was most helpful during the conversation?
- How did focusing on 'I feel' statements prevent the listener from becoming defensive?

**Finished output:** Every participant completes a private written outline for an upcoming difficult workplace conversation using the five-step checklist.

## Remote

Use one breakout room per cluster, following the group-format rules, including one room for a total of 8 or 9. Assign the five core roles in advance; extra members observe and share notes with the Observer card holder. Coaches use private chat or handwritten webcam signs. Observers mute their microphones. Keep the same feedback limits and return everyone to the main room for debriefs.

## Hybrid

Allocate participants across locations using the same cluster rules. Keep room-only or remote-only clusters where their counts fit; otherwise form a mixed cluster. Every member of a mixed cluster joins the video meeting on an individual device with a headset, with room members spaced apart to avoid audio feedback. Any core role may be remote. Use the remote coaching procedure and the same observer-reporting, rotation and feedback limits.

## Access and participation choices

- Participants may choose the Observer role if roleplaying causes distress.
- Coaches may use prepared digital text or printed prompt cards instead of writing on the fly.
- Personal action plans remain strictly private and are not collected.

## If the session gets stuck

**The roleplay turns into an escalating argument or personal attack.**

Intervene immediately, pause the timer, remind the group that the roleplay is a deliberate practice drill for checklist behaviors, and reset the speaker to restart with an 'I feel' statement.

**Coaches speak aloud and interrupt the conversation.**

Remind coaches that coaching must be entirely silent using written signs held up behind the conversational partner.


## Terms used here

- GUT TALK Checklist: A five-point protocol for expressing emotions professionally: ask permission, name multiple feelings, avoid blame, use 'I feel' phrasing, and listen.

## Participant material: GUT TALK Checklist and Role Cards

GUT TALK CHECKLIST:
1. Explain why you want to express your emotions and ask for permission.
2. Specify all the different feelings you have (do not focus only on one negative emotion).
3. Do not blame or judge the other person.
4. Own your feelings: use 'I feel...' statements rather than 'You make me feel...' statements.
5. Listen attentively to the other person's response.

ROLE: SPEAKER
- Before: Work with your coach. Plan what you will say using the checklist.
- During: Express your feelings clearly. Watch and adjust when your coach holds up signs.
- After: Listen to all feedback first. Name one thing you did well and one thing you would change.

ROLE: SPEAKER'S COACH
- Before: Help the speaker outline their points using the checklist. Agree on cue words.
- During: Stand behind the listener. Hold up brief written signs to prompt the speaker without speaking aloud.
- After: Share one positive checklist behavior and one change for the speaker to consider.

ROLE: LISTENER
- Before: Work with your coach to anticipate the speaker and plan a realistic response.
- During: Respond naturally and realistically to the speaker. Watch your coach for silent prompts.
- After: Share one positive checklist behavior the speaker demonstrated and one suggested change.

ROLE: LISTENER'S COACH
- Before: Help the listener prepare natural, professional reactions.
- During: Stand behind the speaker. Hold up brief written prompt signs for the listener.
- After: Share one positive checklist behavior the speaker demonstrated and one suggested change.

ROLE: OBSERVER
- Before: Review the checklist items and prepare observation notes.
- During: Watch the speaker closely and record specific words and behaviors aligned with the checklist.
- After: Lead the feedback by sharing one specific positive observation and one recommended change.

## Sources and adaptation

GUT TALK was designed by Sivasailam Thiagarajan (The Thiagi Group) and published in their archive in 2002, referencing concepts from Stone, Patton, and Heen's 'Difficult Conversations'.

The original source is a 60-90 minute Thiagi activity using 5-role clusters, silent prompt cards, structured 3-minute intervals, and a 5-item checklist. The old record incorrectly labeled it a 'relationship mapping exercise'. This run sheet restores the authentic coached-roleplay mechanic, specifies a 60-minute agenda with two practice rounds, and adds precise scripts and hybrid accommodations. UWT added an 8- or 9-person single-cluster option with extra observers. The five role-card holders rotate, extra observers remain observers, and one observer representative reports so feedback stays inside the existing three-minute block. UWT added a mixed-location cluster option in which any core role can participate by video, using the same remote coaching procedure.

[The Thiagi Group](https://thiagi.net/archive/www/game-guttalk.html)

[The Thiagi Group](http://thiagi.net/archive/www/game-guttalk.html)

Current run sheet: https://unitedwetransform.com/exercises/gut-talk/