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Help me prepare and run the exercise below. First ask for my participant count, time, setting, access needs and intended result. Check these against the stated limits. Use the supplied rules and materials. Explain any proposed changes before using them, and label them as adaptations. Do not invent source claims or require personal disclosure. Give me one step at a time when I say start. I manage the people, physical activity and clock; do not claim to observe the room. Ask me what happened before choosing a next step.

Reference revision: 7075ae96f68e74e4df5c5fd18a64a95ade9360a1e1898652ee7b5ca7543b76b4

# Talk So Teams Will Listen

Participants analyze automatic response traps and practice four connection skills through reframe drills and scenario triads. They conclude by drafting an implementation plan and scheduling a peer check-in.

**Time:** 120 minutes. 120 minutes matching source timing across six blocks: 10 + 15 + 20 + 15 + 30 + 30 minutes.
**People:** 6 to 24. Whole room, pairs, and triads with extra members acting as second observers.

## Choose this exercise

**Purpose:** Replace automatic advice giving with four structured listening skills during challenging workplace interactions.
**Use it when:** Use during leadership development or communication training when managers rely on fast problem-solving instead of acknowledging colleague input.
**Skip it when:** Skip during acute crisis management, active disciplinary proceedings, or technical training requiring direct compliance instructions.

## Materials and tools

- Flipchart paper and markers
- One Connection Skills Framework handout per participant
- One set of Response Reframe Cards per participant
- One set of Conversation Practice Scenario Cards per small group
- One Personal Practice Plan worksheet per participant
- Timer or phone clock
- One pen per participant

## Before participants arrive

1. Print all handouts, cards, and worksheets before the session.
2. Arrange seating for quick transitions between whole-room presentations, pairs, and triads.
3. Post two blank flipchart sheets on the wall for response patterns and debrief takeaways.

## Say this to open

Think about the best leader you have worked for, the person who brought out your best thinking. Take thirty seconds to remember what they did that made you feel valued. Today we will examine four core communication skills that interrupt our default habits and build genuine connection at work.

## How to run it

### 1. Examine leadership habits (10 minutes)

Deliver the opening script. Ask three participants to share what their best leader did. Write recurring actions on the flipchart. Introduce the four core skills: acknowledge feelings, draw out with questions, engage cooperation, and create safety for mistakes.

### 2. Map default reactions (15 minutes)

Read this prompt aloud: 'A team member comes to you and says: I am so frustrated. I worked all weekend on that proposal and Sarah just tore it apart in front of everyone. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough.' Give participants two minutes to write their exact spoken response. Collect five responses on the flipchart. Categorize the patterns into fixing, minimizing, lecturing, interrogating, one-upping, and reassuring. Point out how each pattern bypasses acknowledging the speaker's emotional state.

### 3. Introduce the four connection skills (20 minutes)

Hand out the Connection Skills Framework. Review each skill: Acknowledge Feelings, Draw Out with Questions, Engage Cooperation, and Create Safety for Mistakes. Contrast the previous step's typical fix with an acknowledging line: 'That sounds frustrating. You put in a huge effort and felt publicly criticized.' Walk through one contrast for each remaining skill. Emphasize pausing immediately after naming the emotion before suggesting any next step.

### 4. Run quick reframe drills (15 minutes)

Distribute Response Reframe Cards and form pairs. If headcount is odd, form one triad: Partner A reads the prompt, Partner B speaks a reframe, and Partner C gives brief feedback, rotating roles every three minutes. In pairs, Partner A reads a typical response and Partner B takes ten seconds to speak a connection reframe. Swap roles after five minutes. Reconvene the full group for the final five minutes to hear three strong reframes.

### 5. Practice workplace conversations in triads (30 minutes)

Divide participants into triads. If numbers do not divide by three, add a fourth person as an extra observer. Distribute scenario cards. Run three seven-minute rounds (21 minutes total). Each round allows one minute to read, four minutes to converse, and two minutes for observer feedback. Participants rotate so each takes a turn as leader, team member, and observer, unless someone chooses a permanent observer role. Use the remaining nine minutes to collect key observations from up to four groups on the flipchart.

### 6. Draft practice commitments and close (30 minutes)

Distribute the Personal Practice Plan worksheet. Give participants eight minutes of quiet writing to pick one skill, note default habits, and write an exact opening phrase. Form fresh pairs. If headcount is odd, form one triad. Give each person three minutes to share their plan and discuss roadblocks. Spend two minutes exchanging contact info and scheduling a check-in within two weeks. Use the final ten minutes for the whole-room debrief.


## Debrief questions

- What made pausing after acknowledging an emotion feel awkward during practice?
- How did the conversation change when the leader asked open questions instead of offering instant solutions?
- Which specific phrase from today will you test in your upcoming conversations?

**Finished output:** A completed Personal Practice Plan with an identified target skill, draft conversation phrase, and scheduled peer check-in.

## Remote

Run via video platform with breakout rooms. Distribute digital copies of prompt cards and worksheets. Gather default responses in the main room chat or digital board during step 2. Assign pairs into two-person breakout rooms for step 4 and three-person breakout rooms for step 5. Broadcast time announcements at role transitions.

## Hybrid

Keep in-person participants paired together and remote participants in online breakout rooms so audio remains clear. Provide identical digital materials to all participants. Screen share the central flipchart or virtual board during whole-room segments.

## Access and participation choices

- Participants may choose whether to read their written reflections aloud during whole-room steps.
- If a participant prefers not to role-play in step 5, they may serve as a dedicated feedback observer for all rounds while their two group partners alternate leader and team roles.
- All prompt scenarios and skill descriptions are provided in print or digital text alongside verbal briefings.

## If the session gets stuck

**Participants jump straight into fixing without acknowledging the emotion.**

Remind participants to practice the pause. Enforce a silent five-second breath after naming the feeling before proposing any action.

**Conversations in triad role-plays end too quickly.**

Instruct the participant playing the team member to stay in character and avoid immediately accepting the leader's opening line.


## Terms used here

- Fixing: The automatic habit of offering practical solutions before acknowledging someone's emotional state.
- Minimizing: Softening or dismissing another person's distress by telling them the issue is not serious.

## Participant material: Connection Skills Framework Handout

SKILL 1: ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS
Name the emotion and validate their reality before discussing actions.
Example: 'That sounds exhausting. You put in weekend hours and did not expect that response.'

SKILL 2: DRAW OUT WITH QUESTIONS
Ask open-ended questions driven by genuine curiosity rather than concealed advice.
Example: 'What part of this project feels most important for you to protect right now?'

SKILL 3: ENGAGE COOPERATION
State the practical challenge plainly and invite joint problem solving.
Example: 'We have conflicting feedback from the client. What is our best move to resolve it?'

SKILL 4: CREATE SAFETY FOR MISTAKES
Focus directly on learning and subsequent steps rather than assigning blame.
Example: 'The release missed our target window. Let us look at where the process broke down and how to adjust.'

## Participant material: Response Reframe Cards

CARD 1
Typical: 'Don't worry about it, it is not a big deal.'
Reframe: 'It sounds like this situation is weighing heavily on you.'

CARD 2
Typical: 'Why didn't you check with me before sending that email?'
Reframe: 'Walk me through what happened before that email went out.'

CARD 3
Typical: 'You need to develop a thicker skin around clients.'
Reframe: 'That feedback was sharp and difficult to hear in a public meeting.'

CARD 4
Typical: 'If you just organize your calendar better, you will not feel overwhelmed.'
Reframe: 'Your current workload is exceeding capacity. Let us map out the priorities.'

## Participant material: Conversation Practice Scenario Cards

SCENARIO A
Role: Team member. You spent three days compiling an analytics report. During the staff meeting, your department head publicly questioned your data accuracy. You approach your team lead feeling humiliated and defensive.
Leader objective: Acknowledge the emotional impact first. Avoid defending the department head or telling the member to toughen up.

SCENARIO B
Role: Team member. A critical milestone was missed because you forgot to transfer client credentials to the delivery team. You feel anxious about being disciplined and try to deflect blame onto unclear instructions.
Leader objective: Create safety around the error while engaging cooperation on fixing the client handover today.

## Participant material: Personal Practice Plan

1. My Primary Default Trap (Fixing, Minimizing, Lecturing, Interrogating, One-upping, Reassuring):

2. The Core Skill I Will Focus On Over the Next Two Weeks:
[ ] Acknowledge Feelings
[ ] Draw Out with Questions
[ ] Engage Cooperation
[ ] Create Safety for Mistakes

3. Upcoming Conversation or Context Where I Will Test This:

4. One Specific Phrase I Will Use:

5. Accountability Partner Name:
Scheduled Check-In Date and Time:

## Sources and adaptation

Observed in WorkshopBank documentation citing communication concepts adapted from 'How to Talk So Kids Will Listen' by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish as cited by Simon Sinek.

Retained the six-step sequence, 120-minute timing, core four skills, and triad role-play structure from WorkshopBank evidence. Clarified rotation rules for odd-numbered groups in step 4 drills, step 5 role-plays, and step 6 peer sharing so partners and triads share time evenly, and harmonized observer opt-outs so non-role-playing participants remain active observers throughout all rounds.

[WorkshopBank](https://workshopbank.com/tools/talk-so-teams-will-listen-workshop)

Current run sheet: https://unitedwetransform.com/exercises/talk-so-teams-will-listen-workshop-workshopbank/