Works with Claude, ChatGPT, Gemini, or your own local model: paste this prompt and your AI will co-facilitate this exercise with you.

Help me prepare and run the exercise below. First ask for my participant count, time, setting, access needs and intended result. Check these against the stated limits. Use the supplied rules and materials. Explain any proposed changes before using them, and label them as adaptations. Do not invent source claims or require personal disclosure. Give me one step at a time when I say start. I manage the people, physical activity and clock; do not claim to observe the room. Ask me what happened before choosing a next step.

Reference revision: b0655f25b8be0308f5d10dafae52331614179bea3b907133c21cf26977c517ee

# Fight Right: Three Roleplays to Explore Conflict Management

Working in triads, participants rotate through three structured conflict scenarios to examine unmediated disputes, third-party mediation, and self-mediation techniques.

**Time:** 60 minutes. Source specifies 45 to 90 minutes. Scaled to 60 minutes for balanced triad rotations.
**People:** 6 to 24. Triads (groups of 3) labeled A, B, and C. Surplus learners act as roaming co-observers.

## Choose this exercise

**Purpose:** Compare how interpersonal disputes unfold with no intervention, with an impartial third-party mediator, and through direct self-mediation.
**Use it when:** Use during communication, leadership, or dispute-resolution training when learners need hands-on practice handling workplace confrontations.
**Skip it when:** Skip if the team is in active, acute personal conflict with each other or when participants lack time for three progressive roleplay iterations.

## Materials and tools

- Printed roleplay scenario briefs (one copy per person: Project Management, Customer Service, Deadlines)
- Observation checklists for Project Management (one copy per triad)
- Mediation checklists and guidelines for Customer Service (one copy per triad)
- Observation checklists for Deadlines (one copy per triad)
- Timer or chime
- Flip chart and markers for room debrief

## Before participants arrive

1. Pre-print copies of all three roleplay scenarios, checklists, and guidelines.
2. Arrange seating so triads can talk without speaking over neighboring groups.

## Say this to open

Conflict is a natural outcome of differing perspectives. Today we will work through three progressive roleplays in triads. In each round, two people act out a scenario while the third observes or mediates. Our goal is to test how unassisted confrontation, neutral third-party mediation, and self-mediation change how we resolve differences.

## How to run it

### 1. Form triads and assign roles (4 minutes)

Divide participants into triads. If one or two extra people remain, assign them as co-observers. In each triad, designate members as A, B, and C. Distribute the Project Management scenarios: participant A receives Alan's story, and B receives Barbara's story. Hand observer C the Project Management Observation Checklist. Give everyone two minutes to read their private brief.

### 2. Run Roleplay 1: Project Management (6 minutes)

Start the five-minute timer. A and B act out their confrontation based on their briefs. Person C remains silent and completes the Project Management Observation Checklist, noting listening habits, emotional expressions, and whether planning occurred. Ring a chime at five minutes. Instruct players to step out of role immediately.

### 3. Debrief Roleplay 1 and introduce mediation (8 minutes)

Ask observers in each triad to spend two minutes sharing what they recorded. Bring the room together for four minutes. Ask: Did Alan and Barbara listen to understand or to defend? Highlight the gap between Alan's assumption of sabotage and Barbara's intent to mentor. Introduce third-party mediation as a structured way to bridge differing perceptions.

### 4. Prepare and run Roleplay 2: Customer Service (12 minutes)

In each triad, B receives Bob's story, C receives Cathy's story, and A becomes the mediator. Give A the Mediation Checklist and Guidelines. Give disputants two minutes to read their briefs while A reviews the mediation rules. Set an eight-minute timer. Person A opens the session, keeps order, and guides Bob and Cathy toward mutual goals. End the roleplay at the chime.

### 5. Debrief Roleplay 2 and introduce self-mediation (8 minutes)

Allow triads two minutes to de-role and reflect. Gather the room. Ask two disputants how the mediator affected their tone, and ask one mediator what felt hardest. Distribute the mediation job aids to B and C. Explain that third-party mediation is not always available. Point out that individuals can apply the same checklist steps directly to themselves as self-mediators.

### 6. Prepare and run Roleplay 3: Deadlines (12 minutes)

In each triad, C receives Chuck's story and A receives Angela's story. B acts as the silent observer using the Deadlines Observation Checklist. Disputants spend two minutes reading. Instruct Chuck and Angela to actively self-mediate by establishing common goals, listening, and proposing options. Set an eight-minute timer. Roleplayers conduct the conversation while B observes without speaking. Stop at eight minutes.

### 7. Facilitate whole-room synthesis (10 minutes)

Give triads two minutes to hear observer feedback. Convene the whole room for an eight-minute debrief. Call on three participants to compare their feelings during Roleplay 1 versus Roleplay 3. Record key lessons on the flip chart about managing perceptions, depersonalizing accusations, and using structured listening to defuse tension.


## Debrief questions

- How did having an impartial mediator change the emotional temperature compared to the first unassisted roleplay?
- What made self-mediation easier or harder than relying on a third-party mediator?
- Which specific guideline will you use the next time you face a workplace disagreement?

**Finished output:** Completed observation checklists and a flip-chart list of self-mediation techniques tested by participants.

## Remote

Use video breakout rooms with three participants per breakout. Distribute scenario sheets privately via direct message or private links. Use digital forms for the checklists. Run room timers centrally and broadcast remaining time alerts.

## Hybrid

Keep in-person participants in room triads and remote participants in virtual breakout rooms. Avoid mixing remote and in-person learners within the same triad. Post checklists to a shared digital workspace so all participants access identical materials.

## Access and participation choices

- Participants uncomfortable acting can serve as the designated observer across rounds without public explanation.
- Large-print or digital screen-reader compatible copies of all roleplay scenarios must be provided.
- Roleplayers may take notes or consult their brief during the roleplay to reduce memory load.

## If the session gets stuck

**Roleplayers become genuinely angry or personalized in their arguments.**

Pause the clock. Remind the group that the conflict belongs to fictional characters. Direct both parties to read one neutral factual sentence directly from their sheet.

**The mediator takes sides or tells the disputants what to do.**

Point the mediator to Guideline 17: Don't make suggestions. Remind them their role is to ask clarifying questions, not provide solutions.


## Terms used here

- Self-mediation: Resolving a direct interpersonal dispute by using mediation tools on oneself, such as active listening, clarifying facts, and focusing on shared goals.
- Triad: A small group of three people assigned to work together.

## Participant material: Project Management Scenarios and Observation Checklist

ALAN'S STORY:
I thought that my manager Barbara was a nice person, but she turns out to be a jerk. For the past six months she has been praising my project management skills, but last week she stabbed me in the back. Someone told me that at the Executive Management meeting, another manager asked Barbara whether I could lead a major product development initiative. Apparently Barbara told everyone that I am too inexperienced for such a big responsibility. I know that I can manage the project and Barbara knows that too. Maybe she is planning to keep me enslaved to her department. I have asked for a meeting with her and I am going to ask her point blank why she is holding me back.

BARBARA'S STORY:
Alan is a very competent person and he is advancing rapidly in his career. During the past six months he handled two different projects and completed both of them ahead of schedule and under budget. But Alan is naive about company politics and I have to act as a mentor to protect him. Many of the other managers are jealous of him and they are trying to get rid of him. For example, Peter, one of the other managers, asked me innocently if Alan would make a good manager for the Model 17 product development initiative. Everyone knows that project is going to fail miserably and the previous manager quit her job because of that. Peter is looking for a scapegoat and I don't want Alan to be blamed for the failure of this doomed project. So I told Peter to find someone else with more experience.

OBSERVATION CHECKLIST (PROJECT MANAGEMENT):
1. From your perspective, what was the crux of this conflict?
2. Did Alan and Barbara seem more eager to talk or to listen?
3. What types of active listening behaviors did you notice?
4. Did you see any attempt at goal setting and planning for the future?
5. What negative behaviors or emotions did you observe (e.g., accusations, hostility, sarcasm)?
6. What positive behaviors or emotions did you observe (e.g., empathy, apologies, support)?

## Participant material: Customer Service Scenarios, Mediation Checklist, and Guidelines

BOB'S STORY:
I work at the hotline desk and I think that my supervisor Cathy is a control freak. She will not let go of her authority and enjoys bossing people around. Last month the company started emphasizing customer satisfaction, but Cathy thinks that it is all a fad. If I take extra time to talk to a customer, she yells at me and reminds me that my quota is handling 10 calls every 15 minutes. But if we really want to delight our customers, I have to spend more time, especially with those people who are clueless about computers. Cathy is threatening to get me fired. I am not going to put up with all this harassment and so I sent a complaint letter to the president of the company.

CATHY'S STORY:
We hired Bob because he had a very friendly personality, but I do not think that he will make a good hotline employee unless he changes his attitude. He thinks none of the callers know anything about computers and wastes a lot of time coaching them on the fundamentals, which they already know. Also he wastes time socializing with the customers instead of solving their technical problems. We all know that customers get hostile if they are put on hold for long periods of time. That is why we have this quota of handling 10 calls every 15 minutes. That way customers are happily surprised by how quickly their calls are answered. Actually, we are rated number 1 in this area. I told Bob yesterday that with his personality he would make a great sales person. Today I understand that he sent an anonymous complaint about me to the president of our company. I am having a meeting with Bob to straighten him up.

MEDIATION CHECKLIST:
1. Frame the session: Explain that conflicts are natural and offer growth; emphasize listening.
2. Gather information: Focus on the current dispute; take turns; stay impartial.
3. Establish mutual goals: Focus on both task goals and relationship goals.
4. Brainstorm strategies: Seek win-win ideas; brainstorm without judgment.
5. Select the best strategy: Choose a fair solution and identify an immediate small first step.
6. Debrief: Reflect on what happened and discuss how to prevent future disputes.

MEDIATION GUIDELINES:
- Be fair, firm, and impartial.
- Maintain control through calm body language and voice tone.
- Ask disputants to talk to you, not directly to each other.
- Focus only on the current, specific dispute.
- Ask for facts; discourage assumptions and evaluations.
- Ask questions starting with what, when, where, and how. Never ask why.
- Do not make suggestions or give advice.

## Participant material: Deadlines Scenarios and Observation Checklist

CHUCK'S STORY:
I always try to finish my work on time, but last week I was sick and extremely stressed. I could not focus on my work and had to get support. All Angela did was yell at me for not finishing the tables for the monthly report. That woman is obsessed with trivial details. Nobody reads those reports anyhow, and who cares if it is late by a couple of days?

ANGELA'S STORY:
Chuck never finishes anything before the deadline. We both agree when his part of the task is to be completed, but he is always late and always has an excuse. Last month his family situation was difficult. This month he was sick. He has my sympathy, but I expect my coworkers to behave in a professional manner. He also claims that nobody reads the monthly reports anyhow, but it is not our job to make policy.

OBSERVATION CHECKLIST (DEADLINES):
1. What was the crux of this conflict?
2. Did Chuck and Angela seem more eager to talk or to listen?
3. What active listening behaviors occurred?
4. What negative or positive behaviors did you notice?
5. Did the parties successfully use self-mediation to frame the issue, identify mutual goals, and agree on a practical next step?

## Sources and adaptation

Observed in Play for Performance (December 2001), edited by Sivasailam Thiagarajan and published by Workshops by Thiagi, Inc.

Retained the three-roleplay triad structure, original scenario narratives, checklists, and mediation guidelines documented in Thiagi's Play for Performance (December 2001). Standardized session duration to 60 minutes with explicit step-by-step facilitator instructions, time caps, hybrid grouping guidance, and access accommodations designed by UWT.

[The Thiagi Group](http://thiagi.net/archive/www/pfp/IE4H/december2001.html)

[The Thiagi Group](https://thiagi.net/archive/www/pfp/IE4H/december2001.html)

Current run sheet: https://unitedwetransform.com/exercises/pfp-december-2001/