Works with Claude, ChatGPT, Gemini, or your own local model: paste this prompt and your AI will co-facilitate this exercise with you.

Help me prepare and run the exercise below. First ask for my participant count, time, setting, access needs and intended result. Check these against the stated limits. Use the supplied rules and materials. Explain any proposed changes before using them, and label them as adaptations. Do not invent source claims or require personal disclosure. Give me one step at a time when I say start. I manage the people, physical activity and clock; do not claim to observe the room. Ask me what happened before choosing a next step.

Reference revision: c57454eb5b4abea3646f98994cf6f9ab7cf60485945106ba04e4de1dbd0bc991

# Heard, Seen, Respected

Pairs take turns sharing a story about a time they felt not heard, seen, or respected while partners listen without offering advice or solutions. Small groups then examine recurring patterns of dismissive behavior and whole-room practices that counter them.

**Time:** 35 minutes. UWT 35-minute delivery plan retains the Liberating Structures listening and reflection sequence: 3-minute introduction, 14 minutes of storytelling, 5-minute partner reflection, 8-minute small-group reflection and 5-minute close. The trio and remainder-group rules and the 8-minute reflection block are UWT timing and delivery choices.
**People:** 4 to 24. Pairs for storytelling, with one trio for an odd total; then preassigned reflection groups of 3 to 5, followed by the whole group. Reflection groups may differ from the original listening pairs.

## Choose this exercise

**Purpose:** Practice listening attentively without offering advice, judgment, or solutions while hearing personal accounts of dismissive communication.
**Use it when:** Use during team resets, after strained collaborations, or at the start of a culture initiative to recognize recurring communication failures.
**Skip it when:** Skip during an active disciplinary dispute or an unaddressed acute trauma, or when people are unwilling to honor requests not to repeat personal details. This exercise cannot guarantee confidentiality or repair harmful conduct.

## Materials and tools

- Chairs arranged face to face without intervening tables
- One countdown timer or chime audible across the room
- Printed prompt card per participant or shared display screen
- For remote or hybrid delivery: video breakout rooms, a digital copy of the prompt card, and a timer visible to each pair or trio.
- For hybrid delivery: one individual device and headset per attendee, with enough spacing to avoid overhearing or audio feedback; shared room audio must be off.

## Before participants arrive

1. Clear tables to allow unobstructed, knee-to-knee pair seating.
2. Arrange chairs in facing pairs with comfortable speaking distance.
3. Display the core listening rules where all participants can read them.
4. Before the clock starts, assign listening pairs and one trio if needed, then assign the reflection groups using the remainder rule in step 5. In remote or hybrid delivery, use the entire roster regardless of location and prepare both sets of breakout rooms. Test devices, headsets and access to the prompt card.

## Say this to open

We will practice listening without fixing, advising or judging. In pairs, each person has up to seven minutes to speak. Our trio, if any, uses three 4.5-minute turns in the same block. Choose a mild example of not feeling heard, seen or respected, or pass and reflect privately. Listeners may ask 'What happened next?' but do not solve the situation. Do not repeat another person's identifying details without permission. We will discuss patterns later; confidentiality cannot be guaranteed.

## How to run it

### 1. Introduce rules and select stories (3 minutes)

Explain the listening rules and voluntary participation. Assign the full roster to pairs, with one trio if the total is odd. Invite a mild example participants are comfortable sharing. Explain that pairs have two 7-minute turns; a trio has three 4.5-minute turns within the same 14-minute block. Agree not to repeat another person's details without permission. Do not promise confidentiality.

### 2. Begin storytelling turns (7 minutes)

Start the shared 14-minute storytelling block. In pairs, A speaks for up to seven minutes while B listens without advice, debate or their own story. In the trio, A speaks for 4.5 minutes, then B begins; C listens with the other non-speaker. At seven minutes, pairs switch. The trio continues its own 4.5-minute schedule rather than restarting. Anyone may pass, write privately or keep the story low-stakes.

### 3. Complete storytelling turns (7 minutes)

During minutes 7 to 14 of the storytelling block, pair partners reverse roles. In the trio, B finishes at minute 9, then C speaks until minute 13.5 while A and B listen; the final 30 seconds is transition time. Listeners may ask only open prompts such as 'What happened next?' They do not advise, judge or retell their own experiences. Stop all storytelling at minute 14.

### 4. Reflect with the listening partners (5 minutes)

Pairs or the trio discuss: 'What did it feel like to tell my story?' and 'What did it feel like to listen without fixing?' Keep focus on the listening experience, not re-analyzing the original events. Anyone may pass or reflect privately.

### 5. Small group pattern analysis (8 minutes)

Use the preassigned reflection groups: quartets when the total divides by 4; otherwise one group of 5 for remainder 1, two groups of 3 for remainder 2, or one group of 3 for remainder 3, with all remaining people in quartets. Regroup people as needed to use those sizes. Discuss patterns and their importance without retelling another person's identifying details unless they explicitly permit it. Passing is valid.

### 6. Whole group debrief (5 minutes)

Reconvene the full room. Take three or four brief observations addressing how listening without solving changes interactions, and what practices prevent these patterns going forward.


## Debrief questions

- What did you notice about your internal urge to fix, advise, or judge while listening?
- What common patterns showed up across the situations shared?
- How does receiving non-judgmental listening change the conversation?

**Finished output:** Listening practice followed by voluntarily shared observations about recurring communication patterns. Private stories are not collected.

## Remote

Use the prepared listening pairs and possible trio in breakout rooms. Share the prompt card. After the introduction, run one 14-minute block: pairs switch at 7 minutes; a trio switches at 4.5 and 9 minutes, ending at 13.5. Broadcast cues labeled for pairs or trios, and let groups check their own timer. Keep the same rooms for 5 minutes of listening reflection. Move everyone to the preassigned groups of 3 to 5 for 8 minutes of pattern discussion, then return to the main room for the 5-minute close. Do not post or record private stories.

## Hybrid

Use the remote procedure for the entire roster, regardless of location. Each attendee joins the assigned listening breakout and later reflection breakout on an individual device with a headset. Space in-room participants apart and turn off shared room microphones and speakers. Everyone can read the digital prompt card. No attendee is isolated because they are the only person in one location. Return all devices to the main room for the close and take one speaker at a time. If this equipment or listening space is unavailable, use one delivery setting instead.

## Access and participation choices

- Participants may choose a mild professional situation or a non-work example rather than sensitive personal history.
- Anyone may pass on speaking and instead reflect silently, write notes, or serve strictly as a timekeeper.
- Face-to-face chair proximity can be widened according to individual mobility or comfort preferences.

## If the session gets stuck

**A listener starts offering solutions, giving advice, or debating facts.**

Remind the room gently of the core constraint: 'Listeners, hold back advice and solutions. Your only job right now is to understand what happened.'

**The storyteller finishes their story in two or three minutes and falls silent.**

Encourage the pair to sit comfortably in the silence until the time ends, or let the listener ask simple prompts like 'What else was going on for you then?' without pivoting to casual chatter.

**An odd number of participants leaves one person without a partner during pairing.**

Use one trio alongside the pairs. A, B and C each have a 4.5-minute speaking turn, totaling 13.5 minutes inside the same 14-minute block; the other two listen. Leave the final 30 seconds for transition. Keep the following 5-minute listening reflection unchanged.

**The participant count is not divisible by 4 when forming quartets.**

Plan reflection groups from the full roster before starting. For totals divisible by 4 use quartets. For remainder 1 use one group of 5; for remainder 2 use two groups of 3; for remainder 3 use one group of 3. Place the rest in quartets. For example, 6 becomes 3+3, 7 becomes 3+4, 9 becomes 5+4, and 10 becomes 3+3+4. Original pairs may separate for pattern discussion; nobody has to retell a private story.


## Terms used here

- HSR: Heard, Seen, Respected; an interpersonal Liberating Structure focused on non-judgmental listening.
- Fixing: The habit of immediately attempting to solve, advise, or minimize another person's problem rather than listening to their account.

## Participant material: HSR Partner Prompts and Ground Rules

Storyteller Prompt:
Describe a specific time when you felt you were not heard, not seen, or not respected.
- What happened?
- How did you feel?
- You choose what level of detail to share; keep it safe for yourself.

Listener Rules:
- Listen without judging, fixing, or giving advice.
- Do not interrupt with your own experiences.
- If the storyteller pauses, you may ask: 'What happened next?' or 'What else would you like to share?'
- Do not repeat identifying details without the storyteller's permission. Share only what you are comfortable having these listeners hear; confidentiality cannot be guaranteed.
- Anyone may pass or use a mild example.

Pair or Trio Debrief Questions (5 min):
- What did it feel like to tell your story?
- What did it feel like to listen without trying to fix anything?

Small Group Questions (8 min):
- What common patterns appeared across our stories?
- What importance do we assign to these patterns?

## Sources and adaptation

Observed in the Liberating Structures menu by Keith McCandless and Henri Lipmanowicz, inspired by Seeds of Compassion practitioners and Mark Jones.

Retains the Liberating Structures mechanic of voluntary storytelling, non-judgmental listening, partner reflection and discussion of patterns. UWT supplies the 35-minute stage allocation, complete prompt card, mild-example and pass choices, one-trio rotation and explicit 3-to-5-person remainder groups. The original uses pairs followed by foursomes; the remainder and full-roster digital procedures are UWT adaptations. Privacy instructions request permission before repeating details and do not promise confidentiality or measured trust benefits.

[Liberating Structures](https://www.liberatingstructures.com/19-heard-seen-respected-hsr/)

[Liberating Structures](http://www.liberatingstructures.com/19-heard-seen-respected-hsr/)

[Parabol](https://www.parabol.co/templates/sprint-retrospectives/heard-seen-respected/)

Current run sheet: https://unitedwetransform.com/exercises/heard-seen-respected-hsr/