Uncommon Commonalities

Choose this exercise

Purpose: Surface unexpected personal or professional overlaps across participants to build conversational rapport without invasive disclosure.

Use it when: Use during team kickoffs, cross-functional workshops, or onboarding sessions to start conversations across unfamiliar peers.

Skip it when: Skip when the group already works together closely every day, or when working on a high-stakes crisis where immediate operational focus is needed.

Group arrangement: Subgroups of 3 to 5 participants (single group if 4 to 5 total)

Timing: Matches the 15 to 30 minute range reported in Participatory Methods evidence; structured here as a concise 20-minute session.

Materials and tools

• One blank sheet of paper per small group
• One pen per small group
• One flip chart or whiteboard for room sharing
• Dry-erase marker or flip chart marker
• Optional printed prompt cards for groups needing inspiration

Before participants arrive

1. Place one sheet of paper and one pen at each small group table.
2. Write the rules on the central board: Must apply to everyone in the group; avoid visible or obvious facts.
3. Pre-arrange table groupings of 3 to 5 people.

Say this to open

In your groups, your task is to discover things that every single one of you has in common, but they must be unusual. Skip the obvious things like 'we all wear shoes' or 'we all work here.' For example, 'we all like chocolate' is too common. 'We all organize our books by color' or 'we all used to play the accordion' counts. You have ten minutes to interview each other and write down as many as you can find.

How to run it

1. Introduce rules and example 3 minutes

   Explain the objective and criteria. Offer one clear contrast: a common trait like 'we both drink coffee' does not count, whereas 'we all drank chicory root tea this morning' does. Form groups of 3 to 5 participants. Distribute paper and pens.

2. Interview and identify commonalities 10 minutes

   Groups talk among themselves to uncover shared habits, quirks, past jobs, or unusual preferences. Every item recorded must apply to every member of that small group. If one person does not share it, the item cannot go on the list. The facilitator circulates to offer prompt categories if groups stall.

3. Select and share top findings 5 minutes

   Ask each group to circle their single most surprising or creative commonality. Call on one spokesperson per group to read that single item aloud to the whole room in under 30 seconds. Write these top discoveries on the main flip chart.

4. Debrief the activity 2 minutes

   Facilitate a brief debrief using one or two targeted questions. Hear responses from two or three volunteers to conclude the exercise.

Debrief questions

• Which category of questioning was most effective for uncovering non-obvious overlaps?
• What surprised you most about the assumptions you made before starting the conversation?

Finished output: A written list of verified shared traits from each group, with their single most surprising overlap posted on the shared room chart. Any group or participant may choose to pass on specific items.

Remote

Create breakout rooms with 3 to 5 participants each. Provide a shared digital workspace (such as a Google Doc, Mural, or Padlet) with one section per team. Each team types their list. When returning to the main room, each group spokesperson posts their top trait in the chat or reads it aloud. Order spokespersons using a posted roster.

Hybrid

Seat in-person participants in pods with an on-table microphone or group laptop. Assign remote attendees to their own virtual breakout rooms rather than splitting individuals between room tables. Have all groups record their lists on a single shared online board so room attendees and remote attendees can view every group's output in real time. Provide paper copies to in-person pods and digital workspace access to remote pods. Both formats share verbally during the report-out.

Access and participation choices

• Participants choose their own level of personal sharing; strictly work-related or mundane daily habits (like organization styles or utensil preference) are completely valid.
• Any participant may serve as the scribe or timekeeper if they prefer not to volunteer personal anecdotes directly.

If the session gets stuck

A team focuses on trivial or obvious traits like 'we all breathe air' or 'we all work at the company.'

Remind the group of the rule: obvious facts are disqualified. Challenge them to pick a specific category such as childhood pets, music tastes, or quirky daily routines.

One group gets stuck and cannot find any shared uncommon trait.

Hand them the prompt card or offer two concrete probe questions: 'Has anyone here ever lived in another country?' or 'What is a food you cannot stand?'

Terms used here

• Uncommon Commonalities: Shared personal habits, preferences, or past experiences that are genuinely held by all group members but are rare or unexpected in general.