Commonalities

Choose this exercise

Purpose: Identify shared personal facts and experiences across small groups through rapid self-disclosure and comparison.

Use it when: Use at the start of a meeting or training session when participants need an active, structured icebreaker to build familiarity.

Skip it when: Skip when fewer than eight people are present, which leaves too few subgroups to make the list-comparison mechanic work.

Group arrangement: Small teams of 4 to 6 people

Timing: Source suggests 5 to 8 minutes for small-group discovery; 20 minutes total provides sufficient time for subgroup setup, full-room list comparison, and structured debrief.

Materials and tools

• 1 sheet of paper per team
• 1 pen per team

Before participants arrive

1. Arrange seating or tables so teams of 4 to 6 can talk without shouting over adjacent groups.
2. Place 1 blank sheet of paper and 1 pen at each team station.

Say this to open

Form groups of four to six people. Your team has one goal: find as many things as possible that every single person in your group has in common, and write them down. Aim for unusual experiences or facts. When time is up, we will compare lists across the room. If any other group wrote down the same trait, both groups must cross it out. The group with the most unique shared traits left on their list wins. You may decline to answer any personal question without giving a reason and propose an alternative topic for your team to explore.

How to run it

1. Form teams and set rules 3 minutes

   Divide participants into teams of 4 to 6 people. Hand out 1 sheet of paper and 1 pen to each team. Read the opening script aloud. Clarify that every single person in the group must share the attribute for it to count. For example, 'everyone has broken a bone' counts only if all four to six members actually broke a bone.

2. Discover and record commonalities 7 minutes

   Start a 7-minute timer. Teams talk among themselves to uncover unanimous traits and record them on their paper. Circulate to keep groups focused on specific, uncommon details rather than trivial physical facts like 'we all wear socks,' which are likely to match other teams and get eliminated.

3. Compare lists and strike duplicates 7 minutes

   Call time. Invite Team 1 to read their first item aloud. Ask if any other team has that exact attribute on their sheet. If any team raises a hand, all teams with that item cross it out immediately. If no other team holds it, Team 1 keeps the point. Rotate clockwise to Team 2, repeating the process until all lists are cleared or time expires. The team with the most remaining items wins.

4. Debrief 3 minutes

   Gather the full room and ask two reflection questions from the debrief section. Take three volunteer responses across different teams to highlight unexpected findings and conversation strategies.

Debrief questions

• Which common trait on your team list surprised you the most?
• What questioning strategy helped your group uncover uncommon connections quickly?

Finished output: A written list of unique shared attributes from each small team.

Remote

Form breakout rooms of 4 to 6 participants. Assign each room a separate column in a shared online document or a dedicated slide in a presentation deck. Teams type their unanimous traits into their assigned area during the 7-minute discovery period. In the main room, share your screen and review items round-robin, using the strikethrough text tool on all matching entries across columns.

Hybrid

Form separate in-person and remote subgroups so conversational audio remains clean. Remote teams record attributes in a shared cloud document while in-person teams write on paper. Project the digital document in the physical room during comparison so both in-person and remote participants can see, call out duplicates, and cross off matches together.

Access and participation choices

• Participants may decline to discuss any topic or answer any personal question without giving a reason and suggest an alternate subject.
• Teams can designate one member as the scribe so individuals with motor or handwriting limitations are not required to write.

If the session gets stuck

A team records broad physical facts like 'we all have hair' or 'we all breathe air.'

Remind the room that common traits are almost certain to be on another team's list and get eliminated. Urge them to test unusual life events, hobbies, or tastes.

Two teams dispute whether two distinct statements count as a match, such as 'we all play soccer' versus 'we all play team sports.'

Rule that matches must be substantially identical. If one statement is specific and the other is generic, the specific statement stands.