Unique Thing in Common

Choose this exercise

Purpose: Help participants discover non-obvious shared background facts through focused peer interviews.

Use it when: At the beginning of a workshop or team session when participants need a quick icebreaker to start speaking with each other.

Skip it when: Skip during high-stress working sessions, crisis meetings, or when the group must immediately address an urgent technical task.

Group arrangement: Pairs (or one trio if total participant count is odd)

Timing: Source indicates 8 to 12 minutes; UWT structures the flow at 11 minutes total.

Materials and tools

• One index card or blank slip of paper per pair
• One pen or pencil per pair
• Digital chat or shared online whiteboard if running remotely

Before participants arrive

1. Arrange seating or open floor space so pairs can talk without shouting over each other.
2. Ensure paper and pens are available on tables or handed out.

Say this to open

Find a partner next to you. Your task is to discover three unusual, surprising, or unexpected things you both have in common. Skip obvious visible facts like eye color or clothing. For example, 'we both grew up in small coastal towns' counts, but 'we both wear glasses' does not. Take five minutes to interview each other, write down three shared traits, and circle the one you want to share with the room.

How to run it

1. Introduce task and pair up 2 minutes

   Explain the rules using the opening script. Direct participants to pair with someone nearby. If there is an odd number, form exactly one trio. Ensure each pair has one slip of paper and a pen.

2. Interview to find three shared traits 4 minutes

   Pairs interview each other about hobbies, background, quirks, travel, or past experiences. They must identify and write down three specific things they share that are not visible or obvious. Give a one-minute warning at minute three.

3. Select favorite commonality 1 minutes

   Instruct each pair to review their three items and agree on one single shared trait to announce to the room. Give them one minute to make this choice.

4. Whole-room sharing and debrief 4 minutes

   Call on each pair in rapid sequence. One person from each pair states their names and reads their chosen shared trait aloud (maximum 15 seconds per pair; up to 12 pairs fit within 3 minutes). Facilitator closes with one quick reflection question to conclude.

Debrief questions

• What types of questions were most helpful for finding an unexpected commonality?
• Did any shared trait surprise you?

Finished output: A list of three discovered commonalities per pair, with one selected item announced aloud or recorded in chat.

Remote

Create breakout rooms of two people (one room of three if odd). Broadcast a prompt at the start. Broadcast a warning at minute 4 telling pairs to pick their single favorite trait. Bring everyone back to the main room. Have each pair post their shared trait into the text chat or take turns unmuting.

Hybrid

Pair in-person participants with in-person partners and remote participants with remote partners in virtual breakout rooms. For the report out, alternate between an in-person pair and a remote pair speaking, or have all pairs post their selected trait into a shared meeting chat.

Access and participation choices

• Participants may choose what level of personal information to discuss and can decline to answer any specific question.
• If a participant prefers not to speak publicly during the whole-room share, their partner may read the shared trait aloud, or they may submit it via written index card or chat.
• Offer seated space with reduced background noise for participants who need it.

If the session gets stuck

Pairs focus on superficial, obvious things like 'we both work here' or 'we both have brown shoes.'

Remind the room to look for non-visible background details, odd hobbies, unusual childhood memories, or specific preferences.

A pair struggles to find anything unusual in common before time runs out.

Prompt them with starter categories: 'Have you both lived outside this region? Do you share an unusual food dislike, or have you played the same uncommon sport?'