# Elephant in the Room

Participants tear a silhouette of an elephant out of blank paper, write down an unaddressed blocker or unspoken issue on it, and display it in the room for review.

**Time:** 15 minutes. Expanded from the source's sub-5-minute summary to 15 minutes to allow adequate writing, collection, and silent review.
**People:** 4 to 24. Individual work followed by whole-room display or small-group readouts

## Choose this exercise

**Purpose:** Name unaddressed organizational blockers or sensitive issues using a physical paper artifact to ease entry into hard topics.
**Use it when:** Project retrospectives, strategy kickoffs, or team resets where an obvious issue is stalling progress but nobody wants to be the first to bring it up.
**Skip it when:** Acute interpersonal conflict, disciplinary discussions, or situations where anonymous feedback cannot be protected from retaliation.

## Materials and tools

- 1 sheet of plain paper per participant
- 1 dark marker per participant
- 1 roll of low-tack masking tape or painter tape
- Digital whiteboard tool (for remote delivery)
- Webcam or room camera (for hybrid delivery)

## Before participants arrive

1. Place a sheet of blank paper and a dark marker at every seat.
2. Clear a wall or whiteboard space where participants can post paper cutouts.
3. For remote delivery, set up a digital whiteboard canvas with blank text boxes.

## Say this to open

We are going to make the unspoken obvious. You have a sheet of paper in front of you. In a moment, you will have 60 seconds to tear it into the shape of an elephant using only your hands. No scissors. Once we share our art, we will write down the real elephant in the room that is holding our project back.

## How to run it

### 1. Tear the elephant (3 minutes)

Say the opening script. Start a 60-second timer. Participants tear their paper into an elephant shape using only their fingers. When the timer sounds, invite everyone to hold their paper animals up simultaneously. Acknowledge a few shapes briefly to keep the tone light.

### 2. Write the unaddressed issue (4 minutes)

Shift to a serious tone. Ask everyone to write one concrete obstacle, avoided question, or unaddressed tension on their paper elephant. Give an example: 'We lack the technical skills to deliver this schedule' rather than 'People are bad at their jobs.' State that participants may write an issue anonymously or leave it blank if they prefer.

### 3. Collect and display (4 minutes)

Invite participants to tape their paper elephants to the designated wall. To reduce anxiety, collect the shapes in a box first and shuffle them before posting, or let people walk up and post at their own pace without reading them aloud.

### 4. Silent review and debrief (4 minutes)

Give participants two minutes to walk the wall and read the posted elephants in silence. Then reconvene the room and ask one or two debrief questions. Focus on patterns rather than identifying who wrote what.


## Debrief questions

- What common themes appear across these elephants?
- Which of these items, if left unaddressed, presents the highest risk to our work?
- What is one elephant we can agree to address directly today?

**Finished output:** A wall display of named obstacles and avoided issues ready to be prioritized into the agenda.

## Remote

Use a digital whiteboard with pre-created blank sticky notes or digital cards. Give participants 60 seconds to use a pen tool to sketch a quick elephant outline on the board. Then have each person type their unspoken blocker anonymously onto a sticky note and place it in a central display area for silent review.

## Hybrid

Have in-person participants post physical paper cutouts on a board while remote participants add text to sticky notes on a mirrored digital board. Assign one co-facilitator to mirror in-person entries onto the digital board, or point a dedicated webcam at the physical wall so all participants can read both sets of inputs simultaneously.

## Access and participation choices

- Participants with motor control challenges can fold, draw, or write directly on the full sheet without tearing.
- Participants may submit a blank paper, pass on posting, or drop their paper in a collection box without writing their name.

## If the session gets stuck

**Participants use the prompt to launch personal attacks against specific colleagues.**

Remind the group to frame blockers around processes, decisions, resources, or systemic assumptions rather than named individuals.

**The room stays superficial and only posts safe, trivial issues.**

Acknowledge that naming real blockers feels risky. Model vulnerability by adding a legitimate structural blocker yourself to set the baseline.


## Terms used here

- Elephant in the room: An obvious problem or difficult situation that people are aware of but choose to avoid mentioning.

## Sources and adaptation

Observed in Relationship Makers Handbook, pages 157-158. The source material does not specify original author credits or dates.

Adapted from an activity described in Relationship Makers Handbook. Retained the core mechanic of tearing an elephant from paper and using it to document an unspoken problem. Added structured pacing, hybrid and remote instructions, anonymous collection safeguards, and debrief prompts.

Current run sheet: https://unitedwetransform.com/exercises/elephant-in-the-room/