# Attraction Over Argument

Paired participants play a scene starting with conflicting desires, then break the deadlock when one player stops arguing and throws themselves into their own activity with visible enthusiasm.

**Time:** 15 minutes. Based on the 5 to 15 minute improv exercise format in source evidence, structured into a 15 minute workshop block.
**People:** 4 to 24. Pairs; if an odd number is present, create one trio where one person acts as an observer/timer.

## Choose this exercise

**Purpose:** Practice shifting from verbal conflict to solo physical action to move an interaction forward.
**Use it when:** Use during communication, negotiation, or improv workshops when participants get stuck in repetitive back-and-forth verbal arguments.
**Skip it when:** Skip when the group needs to resolve substantive policy or factual disputes that require specific analytical negotiation rather than physical demonstration.

## Materials and tools

- Printed prompt cards (one pair card per couple) or a slide displaying prompt pairs
- One countdown timer visible to all participants

## Before participants arrive

1. Print or write out contrasting desire prompt cards.
2. Arrange the room so pairs have room to stand and pantomime physical actions without bumping into others.

## Say this to open

When two people want different things, it is easy to get stuck arguing. In this exercise, words will not win the argument. Action will. You and your partner will start with opposing desires. Build up the disagreement for a moment. Then, one of you will stop arguing and start doing your chosen activity with genuine enthusiasm. Show, do not tell, why your choice is compelling.

## How to run it

### 1. Set the pairs and rules (3 minutes)

Explain the mechanics using the opening script. Form pairs. Hand each pair a prompt card showing two opposing desires, or let them choose one from the displayed list. Clarify that one person takes side A and the other takes side B.

### 2. Run round one (4 minutes)

Start the timer. Pairs begin their scenes at the same time. Both players verbally advocate for their opposing desires for the first 30 seconds. By the 45-second mark, Person A stops arguing and completely commits to enjoying their activity solo using physical pantomime and positive emotion. Person B responds naturally: they can resist initially, but when genuine attraction happens, they engage with Person A. Call time at 3 minutes.

### 3. Swap roles and run round two (4 minutes)

Pairs swap sides or take a new prompt card. Person B will now be the one to break the verbal argument and engage their own activity with high energy and positive focus. Call time at 3 minutes.

### 4. Debrief the experience (4 minutes)

Bring the full room together. Call on two or three volunteers to answer the debrief questions.


## Debrief questions

- What changed in the room when one person stopped arguing and started doing their activity?
- As the partner watching, what made the other person's action genuinely appealing rather than irritating?
- Where in real-world team collaboration could demonstration work better than verbal persuasion?

**Finished output:** Completion of two active scene rounds demonstrating the transition from verbal debate to demonstrated positive action.

## Remote

Run in video breakout rooms of two people. Broadcast the prompt pairs via chat or screen share. One partner starts the argument, breaks into solo visible engagement on camera, and the other reacts.

## Hybrid

Pair in-person participants together and remote participants in online breakout rooms. If a hybrid pair is required, the in-person partner uses a laptop with a dedicated camera and microphone so both see full-body gestures.

## Access and participation choices

- Physical actions can be seated or low-movement pantomime without penalty.
- Any participant may choose to act as an observer-coach for a pair instead of acting.

## If the session gets stuck

**Participants keep arguing verbally and forget to disengage into action.**

Call out a clear verbal cue at 45 seconds: 'Disengage now! Show the fun, stop talking about it.'

**The disengaging player performs sarcasm or gloating rather than genuine positive enjoyment.**

Pause the room and remind them: 'Do not mock your partner. Focus on genuine enjoyment of your own task.'


## Terms used here

- Active scene elements: Physical actions, objects, and tasks pantomimed or used in an improv scene.

## Participant material: Prompt Pairs for Attraction Over Argument

Pair 1: Person A: Build a sandcastle / Person B: Read a quiet book
Pair 2: Person A: Wake up and start the day / Person B: Stay in bed and sleep
Pair 3: Person A: Blast music and dance / Person B: Work in total silence
Pair 4: Person A: Cook an elaborate meal / Person B: Order fast food takeout
Pair 5: Person A: Organize the storage closet / Person B: Relax on the sofa

## Sources and adaptation

Observed on Improv Does Best (improvdoesbest.com, 2013).

Retained the core mechanic from Improv Does Best: contrasting pairs of desires, an initial argument, and breaking the stalemate by throwing oneself into the activity with positive energy. UWT added structured round timings, prompt cards, pairing logistics, access alternatives, and practical facilitator scripts.

[Improv Does Best](https://improvdoesbest.com/2013/02/23/attraction-over-argument-exercise/)

Current run sheet: https://unitedwetransform.com/exercises/attraction-over-argument-exercise/